Greetings, and welcome to Altitude Talks! My name is Alissa Duhon, and I am your host. I am pleased to guide you through the intricacies of work and life with confidence and grace. Throughout our discussions, we will explore techniques to help you effectively manage anxiety, optimize your time and energy, and achieve peak productivity. We all experience moments of uncertainty and confusion, but fear not, together, we can pivot and align our values and habits with the different phases of life. Embracing the power of adaptability and new strategies will empower you to navigate through unexpected challenges and even conquer them.
Having a clear vision is crucial to success, and letting go of things that hold us back is liberating. It’s essential to learn how to release fears and blocks, set boundaries that empower proactiveness, and redefine happiness as a natural state arising from the joy we experience, our work, and the service we offer to others. In this podcast episode, we discuss the importance of perspective, decision-making that aligns with our core values, and the transformative impact of detaching ourselves from negative emotions. This episode is a call to action to live in the present, find contentment, and cultivate a more positive and balanced view of ourselves.
Are you ready to discover actionable insights to help you perform at your best? You’ll learn to manage your energy efficiently, create an optimal work environment, and embrace continuous learning to enhance your intellectual capabilities. Positive influences, sound decision-making, and self-accountability are the key ingredients to a purposeful life. Let’s explore how we can challenge our assumptions, gain clarity, and elevate our journey toward success and fulfillment.
Greetings, and welcome to Altitude Talks! My name is Alissa Duhon, and I am your host. I am pleased to guide you through the intricacies of work and life with confidence and grace. Throughout our discussions, we will explore techniques to help you effectively manage anxiety, optimize your time and energy, and achieve peak productivity. We all experience moments of uncertainty and confusion, but fear not, together, we can pivot and align our values and habits with the different phases of life. Embracing the power of adaptability and new strategies will empower you to navigate through unexpected challenges and even conquer them.
Having a clear vision is crucial to success, and letting go of things that hold us back is liberating. It’s essential to learn how to release fears and blocks, set boundaries that empower proactiveness, and redefine happiness as a natural state arising from the joy we experience, our work, and the service we offer to others. In this podcast episode, we discuss the importance of perspective, decision-making that aligns with our core values, and the transformative impact of detaching ourselves from negative emotions. This episode is a call to action to live in the present, find contentment, and cultivate a more positive and balanced view of ourselves.
Are you ready to discover actionable insights to help you perform at your best? You’ll learn to manage your energy efficiently, create an optimal work environment, and embrace continuous learning to enhance your intellectual capabilities. Positive influences, sound decision-making, and self-accountability are the key ingredients to a purposeful life. Let’s explore how we can challenge our assumptions, gain clarity, and elevate our journey toward success and fulfillment.
Welcome to the Altitude Talks podcast, where we help you get back in the pilot seat of work and life. Learn helpful strategies for navigating the unpredictable twists and turns that come with the pursuit of happiness and work-life harmony. Here's your host seasoned success coach and applied positive psychology practitioner, alyssa Duhon.
Speaker 2:Greetings everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Altitude Talks podcast. I'm your host, alyssa Duhon, founder and CEO of Alyssa Avenue, and today in this episode, we're actually going to double down on what we talked about in the last episode of the Altitude Talks podcast, and I'm just going to continue to offer some tips and resources to help you to manage anxiety, manage your time and your energy, and help you to become more productive in both your personal and your professional life become more productive in both your personal and your professional life. So last week's episode, we tackled some of the complexities of shedding the weight of the past to create space for future joys and achievements. We also shared a fresh perspective on how releasing physical, mental and emotional clutter can help you to redefine your approach to life's challenges. Mental and emotional clutter can help you to redefine your approach to life's challenges. We also talked about how we can part ways with some long-held habits and maybe examining, you know, some of the things that we do daily and determine whether or not they are still significant or if they're actually helpful for you, or maybe it's time for you to replace those, uproot those and and uh, implement some new habits. Sometimes we have to um, examine um the pattern in in our lives. You know, we have to really sit down and think about how we've been living and how we have been deciding and why, and examine our belief systems and our core values again and then determine whether or not these things actually work for this season of our lives. Oftentimes we don't do that because we're so used to this mode of living or this rhythm of life that we're in that we don't even realize that some of it is outmoded or it's antiquated or it doesn't work right now. It's not like it's wrong or anything. It's just that maybe in this season of life, it may be a good idea for you to open your mind to doing things in a different way, and that's okay, right, it's a personal voyage for you. It's something that we all have to do.
Speaker 2:Re-examining and self-reflection and awareness is absolutely important. And it doesn't mean that you're weak. It doesn't mean that you know you're fickle and you don't know how to, you know, manage life or navigate life. That's not what that means. What it means is that it's like if you're traveling and you're following a GPS and then something along that route that you've taken redirects you and you have to reroute, you have to think about. Okay, now I can't take this particular highway or this road. I have to examine a new way of a new avenue or a new path, and so it's really important that we embrace that. It's a part of the self discovery that we all experience in life.
Speaker 2:I always share with you all what's going on in my own personal life. I share it with my clients all the time, so I am totally familiar with the fact that, as a mom of three, I am not the same mom that I was, or the mother of three that I was when my children were toddlers. I have children now who are over 21, every last one of them. And does that mean that we stop being parents? Of course not. It just means that there is a different parenting technique or level of thinking and parenting, and it's very different from before, and so what worked before doesn't work now. It just means that there's a new approach that we should embrace. Okay, so we talked about that in the last episode and today I want to continue that so that we can gain clarity.
Speaker 2:And, of course, gaining clarity of thought is crucial, because it helps us recognize what brings us joy, what brings us peace, what's working, what's not working and what we can determine that is fulfilling in our personal lives. It acts as a compass. Clarity absolutely acts as a guidepost as we journey forward. It guides our focus. It guides our decision-making, our energy, what we pay attention to and attention toward creating the meaningful and purposeful life that we're all wanting and desiring. And, by helping us identify what matters most, clarity allows us to cherish the present moment.
Speaker 2:Often, the present is so fleeting only because we live in our heads and we're thinking about yesterday. It's okay, self reflection is okay and taking a retrospective look at life is okay. However, you don't want to live in that right Because you are always going to miss today's grace and and today's seed of wisdom and the experiences that are blessings today. So you want to, of course, take that time to reflect, but you also want to enjoy your present moment and find true contentment in your life now, in your life now, the now. So when you gain clarity about the things that motivate and inspire you, you experience a sense of contentment that's connected to that inner peace and gratitude and sense of well-being and acceptance that we all are always shooting for and wanting to establish in our lives Now. With all of that being said, I want you to understand that, no, it's not always going to be perfect. We know that.
Speaker 2:There are seasons when there's some crisis that we're experiencing, or ups and downs, and that's absolutely a part of life. Those twists and turns that I talk about all the time, those things that maybe throw a wrench in your plans or become an obstacle or an obstruction in your path, and now you have to figure out whether you sit and stay there or whether you determine how to work around it or go through it. So it happens. The things that I'm sharing here is just to help you to navigate right, and it helps you to understand that you don't beat yourself up. Be fair with yourself. Be fair about who you are and where you are.
Speaker 2:To my moms out there, it's Mother's Day. I want you to understand there are seasons in life, whether you have little ones, whether you're mothering adult children, whether you're a mothering children that aren't your biological children, or you've adopted, or you're fostering, or even you're just a mother figure in someone's life. There are times when we examine our parenting and ourselves and immediately we fault ourselves for our children's mistakes or what they didn't accomplish, and then we're really hard on ourselves we really are. We beat ourselves up when did I go wrong? And maybe I should have did more of this and that and honestly, in the present, that does not help you right now and it won't help the child or the person that you're parenting at the time. It won't. What will happen is you will begin to self-sabotage and then you'll begin to fault yourself for things that and, of course, we all become frustrated when that happens and we begin to believe that self-talk, even if some of what the child experienced through our parenting was not the best at the time.
Speaker 2:This is the moment that you begin your healing. This is the time where, of course, you say, okay, I'm definitely going to take accountability for my contribution to something that didn't go right. However, I also want to be a more positive role model or a more positive force in this person's life. And then you begin to heal. Sometimes you have to pull away for a season so that you can learn and unlearn and relearn new ways, because some of us we're only doing what we saw or what we experienced in our own personal lives right. So, again, I just wanted to share that, because I have such a big heart for moms and dads, dads, you too, I'm not leaving you guys out. I'm not leaving you guys out. I'm not leaving you guys out. There are times when dads are also hard on themselves and and you know all of us society has given us roles for you know centuries and what we should be doing and how we should present ourselves.
Speaker 2:And even in this tech driven world, now there's this huge awareness of the mistakes that we make as parents, because now, with therapy and the culture absolutely embracing therapy, we're learning more. Now you're understanding more because that knowledge is at your fingertips and so you can identify these things much easier. And then I know a lot of parents that go wow, my kid came to me and was like mom, this is narcissistic parenting and this is you know so. And kid came to me and was like mom, this is narcissistic parenting and this is you know so. And then they feel terrible because they're like I didn't know that that was what I was doing, or I didn't understand that I just thought that I was being, you know, the authoritative parent I need, and I'm trying to keep you and I often share with some parents.
Speaker 2:I'll go listen, stop, because not all of that applies to every parenting situation, and even though it's great that we're all learning and it's absolutely important that we all absorb these definitions of how we are relating and how we're connecting to other human beings, including our family members, we have to be careful because often we'll do like some of the things that some of us do when we feel like we're sick and then we'll get on Google and we'll Google the symptoms and then all of a sudden the worst list pops up and we just go I know I have that, and then all of a sudden we're self-diagnosing and misdiagnosing ourselves, self-diagnosing and misdiagnosing ourselves. So be careful. If you do want to understand it further, actually talk to an expert or therapist and a psychologist. Don't just assume that because some of the characteristics may sound like it doesn't mean that it's an absolute for your situation. And that's just me sharing with others and also with kids out there. You're probably listening as well. That's beautiful that you are understanding, because now, once you learn something and you bring it maybe to a parent, or perhaps you understand what happened to you, you too can go to a therapist and share that and then bring it to that parent and you can cultivate the relationship if at all possible.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying that every situation is salvageable, like relationships are often broken and then sometimes they stay broken, you know, and sometimes it's the most healthy thing that two humans can do. So everybody's path is unique. Everybody's experiencing life very uniquely. I say that all the time. So do what works for you and actually talk to someone who can share with you if indeed this is what you experienced and the whole point of doing it, that is, so that you can initiate a new path in your life to healing. Okay, so that's really important. That's the whole point of it. So, again, with clarity, understanding where you are, what you want and what's happening in your life, and whether it's in your, in your business and your work or in your personal relationships, it's important, and so it's important to reframe certain beliefs as well about happiness and understand that, instead of pursuing happiness, it's an experience that ensues. And I love and this is nothing against the movie Pursuit of Happiness, I absolutely love it. It's one of my favorite top 10 movies. But this is just a paradigm shift that I would like for you guys to embrace that there are times in your life where you're not necessarily pursuing happiness, but happiness ensues. It's like you find happiness in the midst of some of the most challenging seasons of life. So, for instance, you can create and experience moments of happiness throughout your day by finding joy in your work. Moments of happiness throughout your day by finding joy in your work, by finding joy in your daily conversations, in your daily living. Some people get lost in their hobbies and they experience happiness in there.
Speaker 2:I always share my own testimony of the first time my family and I had to evacuate and stay out of our area, because we do live along the coast and we experience hurricanes all the time. And I remember just the most fulfilling moment in my life when we got hit by Rita and there were so many people displaced because of Hurricane Katrina, helping others, and I myself was displaced I myself and my family members. We didn't know what we were coming back home to when it happened to us, but that did not mean that I couldn't do what I could for others. I found ways to be helpful. I found ways to coach people and train people. I found ways to reach out and to minister to others, and that in itself helped me to realize that I made the decision to find fulfillment, happiness and experience joy in that moment and we were experiencing a crisis.
Speaker 2:So that's that's really one of the biggest things about clarity is once you understand and you realize, wow, it's about perspective and I have authority over my perspective. I have authority over how I decide I'm going to react to something, what I embrace and what I release, and you remember that these are blessings and these are superpowers that most of us have and it's essential for us to remember that, to have clarity in life, because it helps you identify your true goals, like that compass I said. It directs you. It helps you to make decisions, how you allocate your energy and your resources based on your values and your beliefs, instead of temporary external factors allowing temporary external situations to define how you feel and what happened. Yeah, we all have bad days and we run into people who are being jerks or very mean, or maybe you have an experience with someone at the job and it can just ruin the whole day, but if we continue to, it's like pulling over and pitching a tent and living in that moment. If you're not careful, you're going to ruminate about that and eventually it's just it's a permanent fixture and what happens is you kind of revisit that over and over again and it only makes you more frustrated and more angry.
Speaker 2:And what you've done now is decided that this thing is so still important and it's necessary for you to continue to revisit it, that it's rob for something that happened to us, and there are times when we just won't get it. We won't get the apology, we won't get the why something happened or what should have gone right and what went wrong. We won't understand it and be okay with that. There are times when we just have to embrace it. Now, if there's something that can be done, of course, I am the first to tell my kids like you have to stand up for yourself. You have to. You have a voice, use it, you know, and if there are stipulations or contractual things or laws in place, then you had better. You know, understand what they are, research what it is and use that. It's a tool. It's there for you and it's important that you put your foot down and you set boundaries, help people to understand how to treat you and how to speak to you. You know what I mean and so, of course.
Speaker 2:But then there are times when it's just it happened and there's really nothing you can do about it. So it's very essential that we realize that temporary external factors that happen are just that. It doesn't mean that you're a weak person or a bad person. It just means that in that moment something happened and sometimes it's the other person's fault and you really can't say, well, I can't believe I allowed them to do that to me. And then you continue to victimize yourself and then you beat yourself up for it. Right, it happened, yes, and I'm not saying that you're not a victim. You are, especially if it's terrible and it's abusive and this person was just downright ugly to you and you know that they were doing it out of spite, or you know that this is a repeated offense with this person.
Speaker 2:But then there are times when you do have to say, if I can't do something about it, and it's long gone now, it's in the past. You have to sit down with it, journal about it, speak to someone who can help you of course, a wise counsel, seek wise counsel about it, and then begin to practice releasing it. It may take a day, it may take years, whatever happens. Remember, though, that you have the decision to determine how you are going to continue to ruminate or react and think about that. So, of course, think about your values and beliefs and revisit what is important and imperative to you and then move forward, and this eliminates the feeling of being uncertain or scared and confused or continuing to feel like you're in limbo and frustrated and angry and upset. It clears the path. It really does. It creates space, and that's really what you're trying to do. You are clearing this clutter, clearing and excavating all of these things that are deeply rooted, and it creates space for you to plant new things.
Speaker 2:So, by clearly showing what truly matters right now in your life, right and that's one of the biggest things that oftentimes we forget we have the power to establish that within ourselves, and we have the authority to say what can and cannot happen oftentimes right. And so there are times, of course, where we have to put up with something. I share that with my kids. I know there's some things that many of us we can't do anything about. And then there are times, though, that, when something can absolutely be done, you should stand up, even if you're the only one in the room, right? Sometimes we have to forfeit doing what's popular so that we can do what's right, and and so if you have to stand up and be that voice, you just have to do that. If something's wrong, it's wrong and that's it. So If something's wrong, it's wrong and that's it. So I'm going to share eight benefits, of course, that you can experience if you begin to practice clarity about yourself and where you are and your goals. And then that's going to be today's episode, and I may share more, but I just want to reiterate what we talked about last episode, about just understanding how important it is to let go and release certain things, even if it happened yesterday.
Speaker 2:A lot of times we think about letting go and we think, oh, it's about something long past, you know, and years ago. There are times that something happened just this morning, right, and we're like you know what? I'm sitting here and I'm still pissed about that person cutting me off in traffic, or how rude this person was. Who was, you know, checking me out at the checkout counter? Or, uh, this exchange I had with a colleague or, uh, um, someone at the job, or just, uh, you know a conversation you have with someone you're in a relationship with, or a family member, or whatever, and we continue to sit in it, right, it's just oh, it's like a, it feels like a pit in your stomach and you're just like oh, you know, I really want to do something, where I want to go back and retaliate or seek vengeance.
Speaker 2:But we all know that nowadays things escalate so quickly and it can become very dangerous if we continue to allow it to control our emotions and we continue to allow this anger and frustration to dictate how we decide to live like making it a lifestyle, how we decide to interact with others. And then pretty soon, we're walking around and just because we see someone or a group of people that reminds us of an experience with a person, right, we immediately revisit that, like we're right back in that moment, and then, all of a sudden, we start to create these belief systems that all people are like that or that particular group of people are like that. You know what I mean systems that all people are like that or that particular group of people are like that. You know what I mean. And so we have to be careful, because this is how hate absolutely begins to take root, and so just examine the situation for what it is and then remember that this is impacting you more than anyone else. It really, really is.
Speaker 2:There are people right now that they've experienced something terrible with someone and that someone has gone on. They don't even remember that they did you dirty. They don't remember, like, what they said. They've just gone on with life and they and and if you do have the luxury of approaching them and confronting them about it, there are times when they'll go when did I say that? When did I do that? Right? And they don't even remember.
Speaker 2:Then there are those who remember exactly what they did and, because of narcissism, they will turn it on you and gaslight you and make you feel like something's wrong with you, like that is not how that happened, and then you begin to examine yourself and think that something's wrong with you. So you know that if you spend too much time with a fool you know what I mean Foolishness you have to be careful because it is contagious and if you allow it, it will begin to take. That foolishness will begin to take root in you and then pretty soon, you are participating, right, you are participating in foolishness and you don't even realize it. You have thrown gas on the flame and you've kept it going and oftentimes the biggest thing we can do is cut it off right. Just cut it off Once someone shows you who they truly are.
Speaker 2:Like Maya Angelou said, believe them the first time and then keep it moving. And so your time is valuable, your energy is valuable, your mental health is valuable, and that's what this is about. I know a lot of people like, oh yeah, but I can't let it go, I'm going to do something about it. Your time is valuable, your energy is valuable. Your energy is valuable, right, these are resources that are blessings to you and you deserve to enjoy. Your mental health is important. It's essential to your daily living, and if you don't continue to cultivate it and protect it and you continue to entertain these types of things, it will impact it in a very negative way. So that's what this is about and at your core, even if it takes you all day to breathe, even if it takes you all week, even if it takes you a year, if you have to separate yourself, be separated. Do that right. Establish boundaries and practice that separation until you heal and until you realize what it is you need to do next so you can move past it. That's important. So I just wanted to say that and get off my soapbox now. So, again, we're talking about clarity and why it's important. The eight benefits it really does improve your focus. If you're at work and you are cluttered with all this type of negative thinking or negative self-talk and self-sabotage, then let me tell you it's going to be impossible to focus. So, with a clear understanding of your priorities, that day you'll find it easier to stay on track and avoid distractions. And let me tell you something else, what's really important. I have something here that I also want to share with you Protect your energy, because really that's what we're all managing.
Speaker 2:We call it time management, but what you're really doing is managing your energy. You want to set daily minimums and maximums for yourself and you want to establish clear boundaries so that you can protect your energy. So here's an example limiting the number of meetings per day, phone calls or emails that you respond to, or having at least one meeting free day a week or one day where you're not answering any email or phone calls. If you can, if you have that luxury to establish that, do that. Maybe having some you time where it's just you going away on your own may be something that you can do, but absolutely practice setting daily minimums and maximums for yourself.
Speaker 2:Another thing is prioritizing your tasks based upon your energy, based upon what your body can do and your energy requirements. We don't do that often. We hear this all the time. You need to prioritize your task and everything like that. That's great for productivity, it's great for time management, but you also have to understand that you are allocating energy because you're having to act out these tasks and it takes energy mental energy, physical energy and because of that, you want to be absolutely sure that you're practicing healthy ways of working and living. So allocating your energy to high priority tasks during your peak energy hours is essential, and you want to reserve those low energy periods for less demanding activities. So that's again, minimums, maximums, prioritizing based on your energy. Believe me, it's going to help.
Speaker 2:You want to take, of course, regular breaks to recharge. Some of us take breaks and then we don't actually take a break. We bring our work with us on break. It's okay sometimes, but if you cannot take a break from work at all, then you might want to re-examine what's going on with work. You may want to hire an assistant, or maybe you should try your hand at giving some of your work to someone else. Right, and it's important for us to. I know that a lot of us don't have assistants. We have luxury of having a secretary and things like that, but you can hire, even if it's on a short contract, or maybe even talk to your boss or your you know upper level management about help giving you some help. So it's important so that you can take a break to recharge, like activities like meditating, taking a walk, deep breathing, prayer these are just going away and sitting silent, taking a power nap. All of these help to rejuvenate your mind and your body. It's important for you to do that.
Speaker 2:And then, finally, you want to foster positive relationships by surrounding yourself with uplifting people. Even if you're keeping your circle small, you can make the decision who you allow into that circle and be strategic. I often share with people that I'm not anti-social. I'm strategically social and it's because I'm protecting my peace and energy and it's also because I have important things that I do want to experience and I want to accomplish in a specific period of time. So there are only certain people that I allow into my space. I had to learn that over the course of some years. It's not just me talking like this, it's for real. There are times when I allowed so many people to flow in and out at will like whatever they wanted. Call me anytime, drop by anytime and, you know, throw things on my plate or say, hey, volunteer me for things, even on social media. I had to stop it. I had to stop it. I had to say no and period. You know you have to do that. So it's important for you to surround yourself with people who actually are helpful and healthy for you and then, of course, engage in continuous learning and problem solving. This is why you're here.
Speaker 2:Listening to this particular episode Helps to stimulate that intellectual energy that we all need. It helps us to learn new ways to navigate life and navigate our work. So, by continuing to learn, by adopting that lifelong learning way of being and understanding that this is who you are as a human, and continuing to learn, it will help you to say, hey, I learned a new technique or a new tool or a new intervention strategy to help me to navigate through things, and then you can share it with others. It's really important to do that right, okay, so I'm going to go really quickly, because I turned there for a minute. Improve focus, that's what clarity does. It helps you to establish your true purpose. A lot of people don't feel like because they've.
Speaker 2:That word has been watered down by so much on the Internet, but it doesn't make it any less important. You are absolutely a resourceful human. You have gifts and talents and people need your gifts and talents and that gives you purpose. You're here for a reason talents and that gives you purpose. You're here for a reason, and discovering what that is, establishing what that means to you and defining what that looks like for you will absolutely help you. It helps you to gain a deeper understanding of who you are, who you're here to help, and you'll feel more connected to your objectives and your projects and more likely to see them through more likely to see them through Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Clarity also helps you to set meaningful goals and objectives. So when you know precisely what you want to accomplish that day or that week or that month, you can set better goals. Goals is another word that people hear and it's kind of their eyes glaze over because it's so overused, but it's important. It doesn't make it any less important. If you don't set your aim and you don't have a target, you are going to waste ammunition, you're going to waste energy and time. So establishing a target, practicing your aim and then understanding how well to shoot when it comes to your goals and objectives is important, right? I don't care if it's about, you know, making a profit in business, getting through that next shift in your job or whatever, going to that next rung in your career or establishing a deeper sense of connection and cultivating in your relationship with your significant other. It's all an aim and a target, it's all a goal, and so it's important for you to understand those and be able to articulate them clearly. It's important.
Speaker 2:Motivation Clarity absolutely enhances motivation. So when you're clear on your why and your what, where you're headed, who you are, whose you are, what you are here to do, you're more likely to push forward, even when the going gets tough, even when things get shaky around you, even when you're knocked off track you know, okay, it buzzed me here, it knocked me off my feet you can brush yourself off, you can examine what's going on, and then you have that guidepost. That compass will help you to get back on the main drag, keep the main thing, the main thing and help you to continue moving forward. That's what it does. Lack of fear Clarity absolutely helps.
Speaker 2:With clarity, you'll experience reduced fear and worry surrounding your choices because you've taken the time to be absolutely clear on what it is you're doing. It's like I had a client call me and said someone called me and wanted me to do a presentation and I've never spoken to a group ever in my life and I am terrified. And I said I totally understand that. Right, and we shared both of our fears of not sounding as eloquent or whatever. But then you really have to say to yourself am I here to sound good or am I here to help someone? And if you stop and think about what you're there to do and get clear on what problem you're there to solve or what you're there to share with those people, and you have a serving, a servant's mindset right and understand that you're there to be a servant and to share your gift with someone else, you will forget about all that other ridiculous fear stuff.
Speaker 2:And I'm not saying that the nerves won't go away. The nerves won't, you know. The nerves will still be there oftentimes. You guys know what I mean and it's good to be nervous. It's good Because oftentimes when you're nervous, sometimes you do a better job. It's an authentic experience. When you're nervous, it means that this is meaningful and I don't want to make a mistake and I care about what I'm doing. That's important. So lack of fear, clarity helps with that. The ability to make quick and confident decisions on your feet. Clarity also helps with that. As you understand your goals and your purpose and all of that, your decision making becomes more confident and quicker. You become savvy at making choices on the dime right.
Speaker 2:For those of you who run businesses and you're a business owner, like I am, you know what I mean by that. The more you practice that, the clearer you are about a problem, the clearer you become about the solution, and if you want the solution, then you know who you need to call to be able to help the situation right. You know what it is. You know the issue, if there, if it in fact is a problem. Some of us, we don't have a problem. Our problem is we think we have a problem.
Speaker 2:Some of us walk around and we're in a funk all day. Or we're frustrated, or or we're sad and we're upset because we have adopted a way of thinking as gospel truth in our lives and it's really just your thinking. That reality only exists in your head most often than not. So you want to really think about. Wait a minute, is this really all falling apart, or is it just me thinking this way? And I myself have become a prophet in my life? By speaking these negative things and then walking them out, you give life to this way of thinking and now you have a lifestyle of negativity, self-sabotage, of pessimism and things like that. It's a practice. It's practiced right. So you want to have the ability to make those quick, confident decisions and to understand where you are and who you are and improve your problem solving by thinking about what you think about. Think about what you think about. Journaling helps with that. If you practice stinking thinking, you won't know that you're practicing it until you sit down with yourself and go. These are thoughts I thought today.
Speaker 2:Some of us are just completely. We're so close to the thing that we don't even realize it. We don't see the forest for the trees right. It's such a deep core pattern way of thinking and living that we don't even examine. This is what comes out of your mouth every day, because this is your thought life every day. This is what's in your heart every day why, when you look on onto that person or you think about that situation, you know immediately. It's just like a grittiness or an ugliness that comes out of us and we don't like to hold ourselves accountable for that. And we should. And it's helpful and it's healthy for us to do that, because then we become better people and we have to be accountable.
Speaker 2:I can't speak for everyone, but I had to do it myself. I'd say to myself you know what I made? That mistake, that was ugly of me. I need to start practicing that. And then, of course, we believe we have a problem Oftentimes and I'm going to say this and I might step on some toes, and that's okay because I love you anyway Oftentimes we embrace problems or what we define as problems, because it keeps us from.
Speaker 2:It keeps us from holding ourselves accountable and also stepping out of our comfort zone. Because if you hold yourself accountable, then here comes the work, here comes the work. And you can't say, well, somebody has to help me do this, or you can't throw it on someone else. You can't use blame and all of that. You have to do the work. You have to say to yourself well, you know what. I need to take up my cross today and do what I need to do. You know I can't blame anybody else for where I am.
Speaker 2:Like that only goes so far in life, when you're an adult, and all of us have come from specific backgrounds, very unique backgrounds and some not as privileged as others, right, but you're now, you're here, you're in this situation and, yeah, it may be true that if you had a better beginning and different things and resources and all these other tools and and all the support, perhaps, but who? Who really can say that? I know people who come from amazing families and wonderful and life just happened and wow, you know what I mean. And they say, listen, it wasn't my parents fault, it wasn't that I lacked anything, it's just, you know, it was bad, poor decision making on my behalf. And I always cheer people on, those people on all the time, because I said, you know what you just did.
Speaker 2:You took accountability and now you can break free from that way of thinking, because it's not about sitting here and faulting yourself and beating yourself up, it's really. You've come to the conclusion that I'm holding myself accountable and I have the power to do something about it. I have the power to do something about it. It's very important. So clarity helps with that the ability to make decisions become savvy about it. So clarity helps with that the ability to make decisions, become savvy about it. Clarity helps with you also defining what a problem really is in your life. Sit with that for a minute, because sometimes we define certain situations and things as problems and oftentimes they are not. There are times when we won't even do the work to determine whether or not what we believe is an issue is really an issue.
Speaker 2:As an example, I had a group that I spoke to one day and they were talking about finances and we had a finance person in there and she says well, what's your goal? And she said I want to buy a house. And she goes well, why do you believe you hadn't gotten Well my credit? And then we kept asking questions and I said well, when's the last time you checked your credit? Oh, it's been years. And I said well, what is your credit score, fico score? And asking all those questions, she's like I don't know, but I can tell you right now it's not good. And I was like how do you know that? And of course, the financial coach went to her and said why don't you check it? And she set up some interventions and ways for her to do that and her credit score was far better than what she thought. In fact, it was so good that she was able to speak to someone about putting her on the path to getting a home within six months.
Speaker 2:You see what happens if we allow our thoughts to control. You have to be really careful. Sometimes we'll think that with a relationship well, I know that person is not going to if I tell them about this you already assume that assumption. Listen, you guys, assuming is a disease. It really is. Sitting with assumptions and just assuming, you know, and you haven't done any research and you haven't done any excavation work and you haven't really sat with an expert to determine if this is absolutely what's going on with you, with your health, with your finances, with your relationship. That's very, very listen, that won't help.
Speaker 2:Okay, so today for your homework, I want you to sit down and I want you to examine your thinking, and you do that by just randomly revisiting your thought processing for the day and writing it down in your journal. Another thing I want you to do is write down your assumptions, write down your assumptions, write down your assumptions and what you assume. Well, I assume my health is okay, even if you think it's positive. When's the last time you spoke to a primary care physician and got a full body examination. When's the last time I know something's going on? Something's going on with mental health? Have you been diagnosed with this thing, or did you look on the internet and just read that and think this is what it is? Do you have concrete evidence, data, the facts on you know the fact that you believe your finances are on, just there's nothing you can do about it, before you make this huge decision to just throw it all away? Um, whether it's, or even a relationship, have you spoke to this person openly and honestly, and is it that you need someone to mediate, or perhaps a counselor to come in and help you guys, to sit down with you and be that advocate for you too? Have you really done the work before you assume anything? Write those things down and then we're going to revisit this in the next episode about how you can deal with those assumptions and how you can become more solution focused.
Speaker 2:Okay, last thing clarity is the first step toward understanding what inspires you, motivates you and, most importantly, clarity is the first step toward the rest of your life. If you're starting over, if you're coming out of a major transition life transition, whether it's relational, whether it's career oriented whatever. Without clarity, it's really, really difficult to start again, okay, so if you want to know the first step and you're stuck and you feel like I've just come out of this situation, I'm going through something and I feel like I'm in limbo. I don't know what to do. I don't know how, where to throw my anchor down. Like I'm in limbo, I don't know what to do. I don't know where to throw my anchor down. This is where you start and even if you stop today, you sit down and you go. First of all, create time and space right now. Okay, pull over whatever you got to do in your schedule to create space, and I want you to give yourself some rest.
Speaker 2:Breathe, take a walk, talk to a friend, speak to an expert, go to the doctor. Do all those things, those foundational things. They help you to set your foundations back on track right, so that you know exactly where you are. Speak to that financial advisor, talk to your coach. I'm here. Understand where you really are, no assumptions.
Speaker 2:Look at your numbers, your body numbers, your blood pressure, your BMI, your LDLs, your HDLs, your everything. Look at your numbers, your everything. Look at your numbers A1C. Get all that your FICO score, your credit score, your assets. Look at it your income, your expenses. Get clear evidence on what exactly is happening. Get the facts, collect that data and then you can sit down with yourself and determine what help you actually need. You can determine whether this is really a problem or not, rather than assuming it. Clarity will help you to do that. This is your first step to understanding what direction you need to go into, and it'll motivate you and inspire you.
Speaker 2:Without it, you may find yourself going through the motions of living your life but never truly connecting with what makes you feel most energized and alive. You will go through life missing wonderful moments. You will go through life self-sabotaging and beating yourself up or living in the past. Some of us are living in the future. Being future focused is wonderful, but the future is the future right, and here's what we all know to be true what you do now, what you're doing now, how you're living, how you're deciding where you allocate your resources, your energy and what you do with your time, is creating your future. So if you're not changing anything, pretty sure your future is going to look like what's happening now, right? So nothing changes if nothing changes.
Alissa Duhon:Thanks for listening to Altitude Talks. Make sure to share the show and subscribe so you don't miss the next episode. Be sure to visit our online store and blog for more resources at alissaavenuecom. Follow us on Facebook at facebookcom slash alissaavenue. And on instagramcom slash alissa, underscore avenue. Until next time.